


Grief

by coldcoffeeandchocolate



Series: Hamilton Ghost AU [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Ghosts, M/M, Other, This is weird im sorry, angsty, you see ghosts that were your friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26511157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldcoffeeandchocolate/pseuds/coldcoffeeandchocolate
Summary: The city of New York has ghosts. That's just a fact. Hamilton watches his friends appear as ghosts.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, George Washington/Martha Washington
Series: Hamilton Ghost AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927546
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Grief

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't great. There will be more than three parts in this series.

Enter John Laurens. Laurens, who had died over sacks of rice while likely sick with malaria. Laurens, who was one of the first to fall near the Combahee River . Laurens, who lay alone for hours, dying. Laurens had appeared not ten days after his death, dressed in charcoal gray. He had not been to New York City in a while. The house he had appeared in front of seemed to be that of his old lover, Alexander Hamilton. Laurens had last seen him ten months earlier; as he headed for home. He was fighting for independence and freeing the slaves in South Carolina.  
Hamilton, who had taken a wife without telling Laurens. Hamilton, who didn’t know his lover was dead yet. Hamilton who had opened a letter meant for him. A letter telling Hamilton of a wife and child left in England. Something Laurens had never wanted, a mistake Laurens had made while in England. Hamilton, who was probably going to work soon. Hamilton who would step out of his door and see the freckles on his face, the freckles which were so familiar. Or maybe his old lover would have received the letter.  
Hamilton had stepped out of his door that day, not noticing the ghost in front of him at first. He noticed, of course, that the ghost was dressed in a South Carolina uniform, now charcoal gray in death. He frowned. The only person in South Carolina he was that close to - no. No, it couldn’t be. Laurens was alive. Laurens had to be alive. If Laurens was dead, than so was a part of Hamilton. When he looked up; he saw the ghost’s freckles. It was the only thing discernable about his face. It was his dear Laurens. Laurens was dead.  
Laurens could only look on as his old lover collapsed on the street. Hamilton was clearly distraught about his death. He knew he would have felt this way had Hamilton died. It seemed that he could not cry. Now, if he could only get Hamilton’s wife out here, he thought with a trace of bitterness. Maybe she would be able to comfort him. It took a while before an old friend of Hamilton’s, the Lieutenant Colonel Aaron Burr came upon the sight. One Alexander Hamilton collapsed on the ground, crying Laurens’ name over and over? Check.  
“My lord, Hamilton, what has come over you?” asked Burr.  
“My lo-friend. You remember John Laurens, a fellow aide-de-camp to Washington?”  
“Yes, we met on a couple of occasions,” answered Burr.  
“He… he has been killed,” Hamilton said, his voice wavering.  
“I am sorry for your loss. Can… can you see him?” asked Burr.  
“Yes, he and I were very close. Lafayette joked that Laurens was always by my side when we worked as aide-de-camps,” Hamilton said. It was not untrue.  
“I am sorry for your loss. I had to learn all of this at the tender age of two. I am now going to knock upon your door, as you clearly are in no state to come into work today. I will handle your caseload until you are fit and able to come back to work,” Burr says, walking to the door and knocking.  
“Thank you,” says Alexander. “I only learned about it when I was 19. My mother died when I was twelve. She had to have spent years alone.” Laurens gasps; it is unlike Hamilton to reveal his past, but maybe he sees Burr as a friend.  
“Oh - Aaron? What are you doing here?” asks Eliza.  
Aaron quickly responds, “Hamilton, I saw him collapsed here, seemingly out of grief. He is no state to work, so I suggested I knock on the door.”  
Eliza nods quickly, exiting the house and helping Hamilton up. Laurens turns away on unsteady feet and walks slightly behind Burr. It is a chance to explore the city more thoroughly.  
Back at home, Eliza guides her husband inside, asking, “Who did you lose?”  
Hamilton responds quietly, “An old war friend. John Laurens. We were both aide-de-camps.” But we were so much more, Hamilton thinks, lovers even.  
“I don’t believe I ever met him. You… you could see his ghost?”  
“Yes. His freckles were what identified him to me. I miss him."  
Eliza’s feet sound quietly down the hallway to where Philip’s room is. She turns back slightly, still walking, “I assume a letter has been sent to you and Lafayette. Who knows when it will get to France, but the letter here will be soon.” She gets their son Philip, while only about 8 months old, he has freckles that look a lot like Laurens’. The sight brings more tears to his eyes.  
Back across the city, Burr is still unaware of the feet that glide slowly behind him. As he gets to his law office, right next to Hamilton’s, he unlocks the door to both, going into Hamilton’s first. Laurens speeds up slightly, ducking in after Burr.  
The office screams Hamilton. There are papers all over his desk, a bunch of quills in a cup, still more quills in the garbage. Burr mutters behind him, “Why did I even try? I knew his office was messy, but not this messy.” He exits, leaving Laurens to Hamilton’s office. He picks up a quill and finds a piece of paper that hasn’t been written on. He draws a picture of what he remembers best about Hamilton - his hands, hard at work translating documents for the General.

Monday, four days later, Hamilton enters his office. Laurens freezes, remembering that Hamilton is able to see him. He quickly sets down the drawing he made Thursday, of Hamilton’s hands translating. Hamilton looks up, hearing slight footsteps, and, yep, it’s Laurens. Laurens has set a paper down that seems to be a drawing of his hands. Translating, it seems, from their days in the General’s office. They had received a letter last weekend, from Henry Laurens. John's father. And someone who Hamilton knows John did not have the greatest relationship with.  
Laurens ducks out from behind a doorway, still dressed in that charcoal gray uniform. It does not fit him. He points to the door, as if saying, “Please let me out.” Hamilton wonders how long Laurens has been stuck in his officee, maybe since Thursday. Since Burr said that he wasn’t able to find the papers in ‘Alexander’s messy office.’  
He opens the door, and Laurens glides out of his office, going to explore the city.  
Laurens is glad to be out of Hamilton’s office - four days is still a long time, even when you’re a ghost. However, the summer air is hot, even here, and Laurens is glad not to be in South Carolina. The summers, he reflects, are worse.

Life continues on. Laurens follows Hamilton as often as he can. He is glad for the newspapers that show Hamilton's movements and words. Especially when he is not in New York. Washington had become president, Alex his treasury secretary. He listens to Hamilton ranting about Jefferson, someone who he is sure to have hated, if only for Jefferson’s slave-ownership. He watches as Hamilton cheats on Eliza with Maria Reynolds, horrified for Eliza’s sake. He watches as Monroe, Muhlenberg, and Venable find out about the affair and swear to keep it quiet. He sees Hamilton’s face, which says clearly I’m so sorry. He hears of the Reynolds Pamphlet first, hears Jefferson laughing in Hamilton’s face. Then he reads it. It is so Hamilton-like, rambling for a bit about philosophy, then suddenly launching into the details of his affair. It seems that Monroe had told Jefferson only days after swearing not to tell anyone.  
He watches as Hamilton writes about Adams, a pamphlet that is great but will destroy Adams’ chance for a second term and his own chances of not sounding paranoid. He sees Hamilton receive Washington’s last letter, and then Washington joins him on the streets of New York. he knows Hamilton can see the man, as their relationship seemed to be that of father and son. Laurens and Washington argue about slavery, just as the election of 1800 rolls around. It will be a contest between Jefferson and Burr. Jefferson will be chosen if Hamilton looks at who the country needs. Burr, if Hamilton looks at his personal life. Hamilton sees that, sees that Jefferson at least has morals that will help the country, Burr having none that are discernable.  
He watches Peggy Schuyler die. They never knew each other in life, he knows her now. Eliza and Alexander can see her, he knows. He watches as another of Hamilton’s rivals, one George Eacker, raking Hamilton’s legacy through the mud. He watches as Philip Hamilton finds Eacker in a crowded theater and challenges him to a duel. When Philip asks what a duel is and what he should do, Laurens is there, silently reminding him of Charles Lee. Hamilton tells his son to shoot in the air. It doesn’t work. He, Hamilton, and Washington stand on the New York side of the Hudson River, listening for a gunshot. Instead, a gunshot at seven splits the air, and a scream. Hamilton collapses, knowing that it was Philip’s scream. Philip dies the next day at about five in the morning. He watches and waits for Philip to appear. Philip appears ten days later, appearing to Eliza as well. Philip is young but smart. Martha Washington, or Lady Washington, as she’s known, appears the next year, 1802. The General is clearly happy to see his wife once more.  
Laurens, Peggy, Lady Washington, the General and Philip watch as Aaron Burr challenges Hamilton to a duel. Hamilton agrees readily. Almost too readily, Laurens reflects. Two weeks later at sunrise, they stand on the Hudson River for the second time in two years.. hearing two gunshots and no scream, a hopeful sign that Hamilton has not been shot. Their hopes are in vain, however, as Hamilton is carried by two young men to the house of Dr. David Hosack. Philip says quietly, “That’s where I died. It’s a place of death for us. He will die." When they see the wound, both Laurens and Washington agree that Hamilton is unlikely to survive.  
Eliza arrives, along with Angelica. They can see Peggy and Philip, and know who they are. They see other ghosts there, the ghosts of Washington and Laurens, but they cannot identify them. Hamilton dies thirty-six hours after, and joins them on the 22nd of July.


End file.
